Fire torch juggling comedian with abs of steel!

The title pretty much says it all. I mean look at this man! He is balancing himself on this bed of nails perched upon a precarious stand while juggling three fire torches! That junk was crazy man. And he was really funny too. Telling jokes throughout the whole show. My favorite one was the one that he told right before doing the tick you see above.

"What am about to do is very dangerous and I really should not be doing it. My father tried this trick, and unfortunately, he is dying. . . my uncle tried this trick, and unfortunately, he is dying. . . my brother tried this trick, and unfortunately, he is dying. Sadly, my wife also tried this trick and, unfortunately. . . .*heavy sigh*. . .she is not dying.

This was from Darling Harbor, the fancy part of Sydney. Go look at pictures on my Picasa

Hungry Jacks

It is no secret that I used to work in a Burger King. Anyone who knows me has undoubtedly heard me whining and bitching about how it was oh so booo hooo terrible. I mean, it was terrible, don't get me wrong, but I should probably stop bitching about it. . . just not anytime soon. So, after quitting there, I made a vow to never eat at a Burger King again. Ever! . . . except for that one time in Shanghai. I mean, it was Shanghai Burger King! Who knew what that stuff was going to taste like? (it tasted just like any other Burger King) But while in New Zealand, Chris was all like: "yo, in Australia, they are called Hungry Jacks, and I need you to take your expert opinion on Burger King to one of those things and tell me if they are the same." So, being the good friend that I am, I did just that.

So there it is! Even under a different name, it was still the bane of my existence.

So I bravely ordered one of the things and found a place to sit down.

Oh yes, that brings back memories. So many memories.

Anyways, it was pretty much the same, except for one part. The meat tasted better. Then again, I guess that can be said for all meat and dairy products down south. They just taste better. That reminds me, I really miss  Australian yogurt. That junk was the bomb. The stuff was so flavorful it tasted like cheese.

The zoo

Eventually I got around to going to the zoo. The zoo was sooo big! I got lost in it! I was all like "ahhhh, I can't find my way out!" Then the loudspeaker kept going on and on about how they were about to close and I was like: "noooo, they are going to lock me in here!" But thanks to my awesome powers of intellect, I was able to make my way out in the nick of time and spare myself the fate of being locked in an awesome zoo filled with awesome animals.

So first you have to go to the ferry dock and wait for a boat.

The boats look like that.

Then we passed this amusement park. I never made it over there :(

And there is the wharf for the zoo! So exciting!

I saw a koala that was all like ^_^

Then I saw a komodo dragon before seeing one in Indonesia. So hipster.

The giraffes were totes presh, as the picture shows.

Look at them, plotting to take over the world. I know you plans! I saw Rise of the Planet of the Apes! . . .it was the in flight movie on my way over to the region actually.

Look at this bird's cool pose! So cool. I want to be like this bird one day. 

Look at you, trying to hide and what not.

This kangaroo simply did not give a damn.

And this dude kept trying to eat the fence. I thought about asking the zoo staff to increase its daily iron intake.

As always, more pictures on my Picasa.

The other half of I'm free tours

Haha, see, I got pictures of both founders of this tour group. I feel complete now. Anyways, he gave me a tour of this part of town called the Rocks. It is the oldest place in Sydney and is filled with bars all claiming to be the oldest bar in Sydney. Oh, and there was a statue too.

Sydney Botanical Gardens

Yeah, I took many more pictures of the gardens, but this is the only one I want to post to the blog. It captures what I want to say about this place. Well, I think it does at least. Anyways, the gardens. In the middle of this absolutely massive city filled with absolutely massive buildings lies this absolutely gorgeous garden. Stand in it and you are surrounded by flowers and trees and statues, look one way and see beautiful gleaming buildings, look the other and see the sparkling Sydney harbor. Quite the place.

Ehh, you know what, I'll throw one more picture up.

As you can see, they did not go cheap on this place.

Yeah, I know, that was two more pictures, not one. Cry some more. I don't care.

Pssst. More pictures are on my Picasa. Just so you know.

First tour of Sydney

So after the opera house, I decided that I wanted a tour of a city. My original plan was to get a pass for those double decker sight seeing busses and spend all day getting the feel for the city from the top of a bus. Plus doing so would make me feel extra touristy. When I got back to the hostel, I proptly realized that junk was for chumps. Savvy people go on the free tour of Sydney! That's right people, in Sydney, where everything is expensive to the point of ridiculousness, there lies a small glimmer of thriftiness for cheap bastards such as myself. It is called I'm Free tours and you need to check them out if you ever go to Sydney. Started by a couple who really like their city, they will show you around the city AND give you a free map full of information on where to get more free/cheap things! These people are great. So what did they show me? 

Well, here was the gathering point. Town Hall.

And there is Justine. One half of the founders of  I'm Free tours. She will pop up in quite a few of these pictures.

Here was this statue of Queen Victoria. It actually came from Ireland. 

And here is a talking dog. But it only talks if you give it money. 

This was inside the Queen Victoria building. It was sooo fancy.

And the Christmas tree was huge. I mean, seriously, look at that thing. You can't even see the whole thing.

There is St. Mary's Cathedral. You can't take pictures inside, but I will have you know that it is absolutely beautiful inside.

Some sort of barracks. I kinda zoned off here. Can't quite remember why it was important.

Here is a boar. It brings you luck if you rub its snout.

Occupy Sydney! Become a tourist attraction!

There is the crest of Australia. Not only do Australians have two national animals, but they are the only people in the world to eat both their national animals. Bet you did not know that.

Guitar man doing his thing.

The anchor from the first ship. It's still there.

Art!

And there was a small model of the city in Customs House. 

And to end it, an obligatory picture of the Opera House

Sydney Opera House

Alright, enough with New Zealand already. Now we talk about Australia! Sydney to be specific. So, the whole reason for me wanting to go to Australia was pretty much because I saw a picture of the Opera House a long long time ago when I was a wee little lad and I said to myself: "I must go there!" So a couple years later (and a couple thousand dollars later too for that matter) I was in Sydney looking at it! The real thing! Not some picture! Not some souvenir sculpture! The real thing! And get this! Not only was I looking at the real thing! I was holding in my hand a ticket to see the Australian Philharmonic play! Yeah, that's right. Be jealous.

Wooooo! I don't even know what is going on in this picture. I was too happy to frame things properly at that moment in time.

Then I decided to try and get a better picture. The thing about the Opera House is that because of it's unique shape, it is actually pretty hard to photograph. It is just sooo unlike anything else you have ever taken a picture of.

And here is the program that I paid 5 dollars for. I now use it as a mouse pad back at my site.

There was this really fancy restaurant there. Too fancy for me to eat there, so I just took a picture.

There is the Harbor Bridge. I had no idea it existed before getting to Sydney, but apparently it is just as iconic as the Opera House. Whatever, it was not some bridge I spent my childhood fantasizing about seeing.

Then I tried to get a even better picture. I don't think I succeeded. 

You can see the botanical gardens from the Opera House.

And the ocean too!

There were lots of tall buildings in Sydney. Sooo not like my site.

I asked a security person to take this picture of me. He looked like he had been asked that question too many times in his lifetime. I kinda felt bad afterwards. (this picture does not convey the badness I felt afterwards)

There was also an obligatory bar that sold overpriced drinks.

A statue of someone I don't know, but I imagine he is important.

Ooooo, pipes.

I don't know what those are. Must be something to be with the acoustics.

This was the view of the stage from my seat! Oh yeah, I had a great view of those speakers.

And there is me in the FRONT ROW OF THE SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE! The over requested security person did not take this picture, mind you.