Sunday, December 18, 2011

HOLY OVERSIZED FLYING BISON!

IS THAT SOME AVATAR ICE CREAM!?!?!?! YOU BET YOUR SORRY ASS IT IS! BUT THIS IS NOT SOME "DAVID CAMERON PREACHY HIPPY POCAHONTAS REMAKE WITH BLUE ALIENS" AVATAR! UN-UH! THIS IS "PUBESCENT BOYS AND GIRLS MANIPULATING NATURE TO BEAT THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF ONE ANOTHER" AVATAR! JUST TAKE A LOOK AT THAT THING AND TELL ME IF YOU SEE ANY TREE HUGGING CRAP! THAT'S RIGHT! YOU DON'T! ALL YOU SEE IS SOME GLOWING BALD MONK KID ABOUT TO LAY THE RIGHTEOUS MOTHER NATURE-Y SMACKDOWN ON A FOOL!

NOW YOU ARE PROBABLY THINKING THAT THIS IS NOT LEGIT YOU DON'T HAVE IT IN THE US OF A AND THEREFORE IT MUST BE FAKE BUT JUST TAKE A LOOK AT THAT LEGAL PRINT. THIS THING IS TOTALLY LICENSED, WITH THE POWER OF COPYRIGHT LAW! LAWYERS HAD TO SACRIFICE THE BLOOD OF THEIR FIRST BORN CHILD OR SOME JUNK LIKE THAT SO THAT THEY COULD MAKE THIS ICE CREAM, SO YOU BETTER SHOW SOME APPRECIATION.


SO THERE IT IS! THE MOTHA FREAKIN' ICE CREAM ITSELF. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE A BAD ENOUGH DUDE FOR THIS!?!?!?! ONE LICK AND YOUR TONGUE WILL ENTER THE AVATAR STATE!!! DO YOU THINK YOU CAN MASTER THE ELEMENTS OF ICE, CARAMEL, BUBBLE, AND GUM IN ORDER TO RESTORE HARMONY TO YOUR SORRY UNAWAKEND SENSES!?!?!?! WILL YOU BE THE ONE WHO FINALLY BRINGS BALANCE TO YOUR IMPOTENT TASTE BUDS!?!?!?! WHAT'S THAT!?!? WHINING ABOUT HOW YOU CAN BARLEY SEE THE ARROW!?!?! WELL OF COURSE YOU CAN'T SEE IT DIM WIT! HAVE YOU MASTERED ANY ONE OF THOSE ELEMENTS YET?!?!?! YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT. GET TO WORK YOUNG GRASSHOPPER!

Oh, and for the record. The ice cream absolutely sucks. Don't buy it. This is another M. Night Shyamalan level blow to the franchise.

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